You can't say that out loud ...

Grimacing cheeto fingered toddler playing with my suitcase – if you were smarter than my toe you would realize that I am purposely not acknowledging your vile presence because otherwise I fear my lack of filter will make your stupid snot-nosed face cry, real hard, with an understanding of how much life will suck after Sesame Street. P.S. You suck because your Dad sucks at parenting and I assume life in general; hence your arrival to this world as his punishment. I don’t wish this upon you but I wouldn’t be upset when he lets you eat Halloween candy from the red dot denoted residence causing your premature collegiate rufie experience. When will the next stop be so I can punt you into the parking lot – this will be the only fair exchange for the 20 minutes I have lost from my life.